This is an exclusive interview with the author of Parenting—Let’s Make a Game of It – Karen Thurm Safran – on how to have more fun being a parent.

I was privileged enough to connect with Karen Thurm Safran, a true Mompreneur, this past month. She was an instant #kaufMOMcrush – bubbly, blonde, entrepreneurial, driven, and the author of a new playful parenting book. And even though she’s that much of a boss, she agreed to sit down with kaufMOM before the launch of her first book. Apparently, she got a playful vibe from me too? 

Disclaimer: At 7-months old, my son hasn’t yet uttered the word NO, so I haven’t had to master my own parental/disciplinary approach. But my interview with Karen, and the time I spent reading her book opened my eyes to the fact that you don’t need to give into your kids’ every whim to be a fun mom.

And I can’t WAIT to be a fun mom!

To celebrate its launch, Parenting—Let’s Make a Game of It is available on Amazon at a special price until the end of April.

Parenting—Let’s Make a Game of It is the first book in the #kaufMOMbookclub! Read it and read this ;).

Q: So…who are you?

A: First of all, I love your blog’s premise of laughing about pregnancy and motherhood. Thanks for including me! To answer your question, I’m a mom with two grown kids and a marketing executive in K-12 education technology. It’s so rewarding making learning fun for kids! I’ve worked for lots of exciting companies (including Apple), but my all-time favorite job is being a mom. I wrote this book to share a playful parenting approach that my parents used to raise me, and then I used with my kids. It seems counterintuitive, but we used games to deal with everyday frustrating moments. You know, like when your kids are whining, aren’t cooperating, not listening, fussing… you name it. Even melting down and throwing a fit. We’ve all been there! Instead of nagging, yelling, and getting into those annoying power struggles, we created a game to overcome that challenge. The results were astonishing! Suddenly, the unpleasant situation became fun, my kids were empowered, and we spent quality time connecting as a family.

Q: Why did you write this book?

A. Ever since I was a young child, I wanted to write a book. I love kids and parenting, so I decided to write a book sharing my family’s playful parenting style. The “how to” lessons are shown through light-hearted stories, to entertain as well as inspire. My book has to be fun, just like this approach! Because parents are super busy, the stories are quick to read and standalone. This way, people can read during free moments and flip to a story that addresses their particular challenge.

Here’s a secret. I may appear happy-go-lucky, but I’m really a stressed-out single parent. Yup! Then throw into the mix a high-powered job where I helped grow a start-up. The last thing I wanted was to create a tense environment for my kids. So, I embraced my parents’ playful parenting style to offset my stressed-out personality. Luckily, this “can do!” optimistic attitude is in my DNA. While sometimes it took a while to create an effective game, the results were amazing. Not only did annoying situations become entertaining, my kids learned techniques which empowered them. Instead of the push-pull power struggles, we spent quality time connecting and parenting became more enjoyable. Ironically, my kids and I continue to use these playful strategies. It’s something that we’ve done our entire lives. In fact, I still do it today, even though my kids are grown and living on their own.

Q: So you still play games, even without your kids?

A: Constantly! Whenever there’s a long line, I immediately play a guessing game and determine the average wait time. When I walk through an airport, I look at the various gates to determine my favorite destination. One time, I even stopped and took photos of the city names near where my kids live, and then I texted them, “This place!” Recently I had a bad cold while watching a Patriots’ football game. I felt horrible but noticed that I wasn’t drinking water. When you’re sick, the last thing you want to do is drink a lot of fluids! After staring at my full water bottle, I finally said,  “Whenever they mention Tom Brady’s name, I have to take four gulps of water.” OMG! Because he’s a star quarterback, the announcers kept saying his name over and over. I drank SO much water that I had to keep jumping up to pee and refill my bottle.

As you can see, the lessons in these stories can adapt to various circumstances and ages. You can play them with older kids, adult, and even toddlers. For instance, toddlers can’t read a Car Bingo card, but you can say the items. “Ooh, can you find a red car? How about a big truck?” Any age can play some kind of game! You just have to think creatively and adapt accordingly. I wrote this book to spark the reader’s imagination and playfulness. The stories are merely ideas which they can replicate or use as a springboard to create their own.

Q: Any games you still play with your grown-up kids?

A: Oh yes! I love movies and always stay through the credits. I know, it’s weird. But people work hard on a movie, so I like to watch the names scroll by. You also never know what funny things will pop up. Of course, my young kids never wanted to stay and would complain, “Come on Mommy, the movie’s over. Let’s go!” I could have just listened to their complaints, but that’s no fun and definitely would have ruined a great movie experience. We could have left the theater, but I wanted to stay a little longer. So, what did I do? I created a game! “Gee, how many times does your name appear in the credits?” The whining stopped and my kids squealed with delight each time they saw their name. Last month, I took my son and future daughter-in-law to see “How to Train your Dragon.” Yup, you guessed it. We stayed until the very end, giggling and eagerly searching for our names. My boyfriend laughs because now HE stays and looks for his name during the credits.

Q: What was the first game you remember playing with your kids?

A: The pacifier story in the book! When my daughter was a toddler, she insisted on having a pacifier, especially during the night. This was a real nuisance because she’d wake up howling. I had to literally sprint down the hall before she woke up my newborn son. It was not fun—

Wait… maybe the first game was the story, “Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Drink!” when my sick child refused to drink liquids. (Laughing) I can’t remember. I’ve been using this playful parenting style for so long, I can’t pinpoint the first game.

Q: Are the stories real?

While the game approaches are accurate, the people and details are loosely based on their childhood. Some stories about 20% accurate and others are more like 90%. My kids are so supportive and want me to mark up each story, indicating which parts really happened. I realize that even if no one buys my book, I’m leaving my kids and future grandkids a legacy. And wouldn’t that be cool if at bedtime they cheer, “Read one of the stories!” Wow, that would be the best tribute in memory of my parents and this magical parenting style.

Q: Have you ever encountered parents who don’t feel the same way about playful parenting?

A: I don’t remember anyone criticizing me. Hah, at least not to my face! Nobody has ever reprimanded it. How can you get annoyed when it keeps kids entertained when they’re bored and disruptive. It calms them when they’re upset and melting down. It stops them from whining and fussing. It even makes writing, organizing school work, and project planning more fun.

I’m thankful for this playful approach because it makes parenting more fun. I see the playfulness in my kids, so hopefully, it will be passed down another generation. We’re also very close because these impromptu games gave us plenty of opportunities to connect. One of my favorite stories is “The Clean Plate Club.” I was mortified and wanted to scream at my son. But that chaotic moment turned into a good lesson and cherished memory. And an even funnier story after my grown son enlightened me with his confession.

Q: Do you have any advice to parents NEW to the game?

A: Sure, it’s definitely easier to nag, yell, or punish kids when you’re overwhelmed and annoyed. The last thing you want to do is be playful! And who has time to set up a silly game when you’re trying to get something done? Believe me, it’s worth the extra effort up front because there are many benefits.

The first thing you need to do is adopt a can-do attitude. It’s like flipping a switch. After a while, you’ll start thinking outside-the-box and problem-solving creatively. Take a deep breath to reframe those frustrated moments. Then determine your goal. Perhaps you want your kids in bed on time. Now ask yourself questions to determine solutions. How can you make this happen? Should you create a system? How can your kids be involved, so they learn from this experience? Do you need an incentive?

For example, I was tired of the push-pull struggles at bedtime. Well, I got out the markers, and we created a list to set up an easy-to-follow routine. But  I realized that my kids needed something else to move faster and end the day on a positive note. Of course! We love watching the “Rugrats” TV show. So, the annoying nighttime nonsense battles quickly turned into a fun race to get ready for bed, which we started right after dinner. And the reward? We watched the “Rugrats” as special family time. At a reasonable hour, my kids happily marched to hear their bedtime story. They went to sleep on time, so they were well rested in the morning, ready to start the new day. It doesn’t get better than this!

Like I said before, but it’s worth repeating, there are many benefits of using games to turn around everyday stressful moments. It makes parenting more fun. It empowers your kids while also showing them respect. And your family spends quality time together. After you try it, you’ll see the difference. It may take practice, but it gets easier. Game on!

Editor’s Note: I really miss the “Rugrats.”